Today could be a turning point in your life. Maybe yesterday was. Maybe you won't discover it until weeks or even months or years from now. It often happens that way, with slow winds and quiet moments, not flashing lights and loud fanfare. In the past, I've searched for reasons, for something I could pinpoint as the catalyst for a certain change. Usually I cannot decide or discover that one thing. Something within us, something about awareness, suddenly gives us consciousness of new ideas, new choices. Something pushes us to think outside the limits of our usual ways. Life begins to fit together in a different way, a better way.
As turning points go, some are not particularly great. But inside are hidden many gifts and opportunities for change. A firm believer in silver linings and making the most of what you have been given, I'm not someone who fears change. That feeling was challenged when I lost my job last February. That turning point was a surprise and sudden, a shock to my system that led to an emotional time, to be sure, but it was not a frightening time. Now I look back to that day with gratitude. I didn't know then what God was planning for me or what new path He wanted me to walk.
I still do not know, but here's what I do know: The path is a good one. I've been given opportunity to be a fully present friend who is needed. I've been given opportunity to spend time with family. I've been given opportunity to expand my mind through reviewing and setting new goals and continuing my formal education. I've been given opportunity to take care of an elderly loved one who needs assistance. All of these opportunities are fulfilling.
When I wake up each morning, I thank God for this completely unexpected path, for the turning point He gave me that was initially disguised as something I thought I did not want. And now I find it was the beginning of changes in my life that I very much do want, and embrace.
3 comments:
Look back and read your 2/20/2009 entry, boy haven't you come a long way? I'm happy you thank God, and are wise enough to see the gifts present in this "unemployment situation". HE never closes a door without opening another one :)
Thanks Alison, I needed to read that today. Although I remind myself of this very thing every day, there are moments when I become impatient and wish His plans were more clear. But I know that impatience is part of my own process. And if I look at where I was six months ago today, and what I thought my life might be like today if I lost my son, well, I certainly am blessed, aren't I?
Oddly, cancer has done the same thing for me and the changes that are happening in my life might not have happened had everything not come to a screetching halt a year ago. Weird to say that cancer has been a blessing. Much love to you, Carmon
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