Friday, November 12, 2010

Truths

November is National Blog Posting Month and I wanted to participate, but I never signed up, and I am 12 days late anyway.  So, you know, there's that.  I do like the idea of being prompted to write, so am going with the Thirty Days of Truth that I see flying all over the internet lately.

Beginning with Day 1:  Something you hate about yourself.

When I first read this first prompt, my thought was Why start out with something so negative? And then I thought of all the hours I've spent in therapy to get through this very thing.  Because self-loathing used to have a strong hold on me. For years, I had a mental tape of negative messages that played non-stop in my mind.  In therapy I learned some of the reason for that, and I learned a great deal about self-esteem and behavior patterns developed to protect oneself, even when those patterns make no sense and actually can do more harm than good.  After comprehension came the work, and let me tell you that it is so very hard to re-wire your own way of thinking.  So. Very. Hard.  But the hard word eventually began to pay off and so in the long run, it was also very rewarding work. 

So, in answer to that question, I don't hate anything about myself.  I'm a work in progress, as are we all.  I do dislike something though and I dislike it very much.  In fact, I dislike two things.  Alas, my feet.  My very, very wide feet.  But they do get me where I need to go, and they're the only two I have.  So, like them or not, I am happy to have them.

2 comments:

Velvet Sacks said...

Maybe you came equipped with wide feet to balance that level head you worked so hard to get. Congratulations on your healthy sense of self-respect. You've earned it.

CreekHiker / HollysFolly said...

I'm amazed that every single person I get so know has SOMETHING they despise. It makes me sad. While I don't know you in person, there is so much I admire. Your artist eye, your marketing know how, the way you love those around you are just some of the things that speak to me. And finally, I'm certain a little brown lady thinks you are the epitome of cool. I'll take her word for it any day!