Whenever I call you friend

I remember the night I met her. I remember life before knowing her, and then meeting her. It was never the same again. I did not know that night that she'd have such an impact on me. I did not know that we would become friends. I didn't know how many things I would learn from her, or how many adventures we would share. Nor did I know that night that life would take so many turns and I would one day have my eye on her back at her mother's memorial service, or that she would be watching my back at my father's service. I did not know that night that she would always be in my life, or that I would spend so many years trying to find the right spot for her. Today she is very much on my mind and I don't know why. Maybe it's the rain. Maybe I had a dream last night that I can't recall. Maybe I'm missing the days before the pain of loss, and her face and her laughter were part of those days. Maybe I'm missing the days before I knew how it would all turn out.