What a day. What a life. I'm not at all sure how it got to be like this, how this Monday exploded like it did, how it seems to me that the kindling and the lighter fluid and the matches were all there and I walked through the scene with a lit cigarette.
Today I started the process for a restraining order on my sister's behalf.
Today I talked a justifiably irate nephew out of doing something he'd regret (on my sister's behalf).
Today I cancelled a work trip because I am not at all sure how to leave, or how to be there.
Today I got a phone call from a friend who believes I betrayed her. And, you know what? I might have done so. But, to be fair, I believed in what I was doing. I'll sleep with that tonight, but I will question myself, to be sure.
There are some days when it's easier not to care.
Today I heard three harsh accusations. One true and two cruel. Today someone aimed, maliciously aimed. And landed.
Still, I can't spin over why words were said, I have to focus on what I recognized; I have to own the true one. I am relieved in so many ways by hearing it out loud.
There is nothing in my life that I'm not questioning at the moment. Not a single thing. But what I question most is me.
What I don't question at all is that I have a lot of work to do.
Oh, and its a hollow feelin
when it comes down to dealin friends
It never ends
The Eagles (obviously)
4 comments:
It seems to me you've been living in a bit of a whirlwind for the past couple of years, at least for the length of time I've been reading your blog. The wind picks you up, tosses you about, and sets you down to rest for just a moment until the next big gust comes along. All I can think to say is take a deep breath, put one foot in front of the other, and pay attention, Alison. This kind of turmoil provides lots of opportunity to gain insights you'll appreciate once everything has settled down.
Sending you wishes for long stretches of peace and serenity.
peace, strength, and wisdom. my prayers for you, alison
Yup, you're right, some days it's easier NOT to care. But because of the person I believe you to be, you'd be going against nature. For all that you give, and endure, your "gain" will tip the scales.
Quae nocent, saepe docent
I think maxngabbie is right, Alison (with one el). And I think that you can handle it. Use your support, and your strengths. And please let me know if there is ever anything I can do for you. (Even if it's be on the end of a phone in the middle of the night.)
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