Listen to your mother

I believe that carrots are the food I like least of all. Don't get technical on me, the assumption is that I'm writing about foods I've tried. And I've tried tripe cooked in lard in an inverted hubcap and slapped onto a corn tortilla, from a vendor on a street in a tiny town in Mexico. So there.

Which, in my usual manner, is a fine example of me straying way off the point.

Carrots and I have opposed each other for as long as I can remember. My mother used to tell me that carrots were good for me and she'd offer up one of two benefits. One, carrots were good for my eye sight, and two, carrots would make my hair curly. I've never quite understood how either could be true so subsequently fed more carrots to the dog, scraped them into my napkin, or left them behind on the plate (hidden beneath something when I was a child or simply uneaten as an adult) than I've ever fed myself.

Which brings me to the point I am trying to make: My eyesight is for sh*t and my hair is as straight as the line to financial destitution I'll be in if I continue to buy expensive shampoos, conditioners, sprays, mousses and gels in the futile hope of one day having curls (or let's be honest here, even a wave or two).

And that makes me wonder if I'd listened to her all those many years ago and added carrots to my daily diet, would I be withough glasses right now and tossing my many curls off my shoulder?

All of this because I just accidentally ate a carrot in my vegetable soup. Yech!