Sometimes at night, I sit out on my front porch, watching the sun drop below the broad Pecan trees across the street, and listening to the humming bugs and the breeze rustling the young leaves on the blooming trees, and the occasional lonely bird calling out to nothing in particular. Sometimes, I smile and think how perfect the world, how great the peace. Other times, a tear falls when I realize how much I wish things could be, could have been, different. I think about what I couldn't possibly have saved, what I couldn't possibly have changed, what I couldn't possibly have stopped from changing me, or hurting them.
I know I'm not responsible for any of it but, still, sometimes I feel responsible for not being able to stop the things that made the worst of differences.
5 comments:
I have no clue what kind of changes or responsibilities you're referencing in this post, but I know full well how quiet moments such as the one you described here can lead to introspection. The imagery in this post is beautifully poignant.
I love what you wrote about the peace in sitting on your front porch. I want that and even though I feel like my life with 2 kids is too crazy for me to have that, I think I'm going to carve out that very time for me. Now that the weather is getting better (and we are getting a new patio out front), I'm going to take it. Thank you!
-sdhb
ditto what Linda said.
I long for peace... I long for quiet moments. Treasure yours!
a wonderfully written piece - thanks
introspection is the mind killer
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