Today is your lucky day! Open immediately

I was checking the Yahoo mail this morning, something I don't often do but after today I'm going to start checking on a regular basis because there was some really important, even life-changing, stuff waiting for me there.

• Chase Bank is looking for me to confirm my account information.
• Walter wants me to sample some "love drugs" for free.
• EuroMillions Lottery notifies me that I have won a lottery in The Netherlands. As a matter of fact, they notified me three times and the last one was URGENT.
• http (that's it, just http) wants my bank account number so that money I won in a (different) lottery can be wired to my account immediately.
• JP Morgan Chase wants me to update my online login and password.
• Chase Manhattan Bank is offering me $20.00 to fill out a survey.
• Oh look, I've won yet another lottery. Someone named Virgil (seriously) has sent me a "personal" email to let me know.
• And - can you believe my luck? - LuckyDay has notified me that my email ID has won (yet another) lottery, this one 500,000 USD.

Well it's no wonder JP Morgan Chase Manhattan Bank & Company are contacting me. They must have gotten wind of my newfound wealth. And Walter, well clearly he just wants to get me hooked on his free love drugs, so that when I'm passed out from all that druggin and lovin, he can take my money and run. I'm on to you Walter.

To think that just yesterday I was fantasizing about winning the lottery. And look at me today, I've won four of them. How many people can say that? The dangers of Walter aside, I'm one lucky gal.