I tell myself it's not only okay but perfectly acceptable to not remind her that Saturday would have been her 56th Anniversary. She didn't remember. In this case, it's a blessing. I tell myself it's not betrayal that I don't remind her, it's a gift.
In my mind are the words, It used to be so simple. But back then, others were in the shoes I wear now, making it so. I understand that now. And I understand that when it all plays out and she's blissfully forgetful and happy with her Eggs Benedict and flowers, and he's made the right decision, one that will affect the rest of his life, and is feeling proud of it, then I find that I can overcome the feelings of being completely taxed to despair. Bouncing back? Hardly. Carrying on? Definitely.
And then there's this happy face:
5 comments:
how can you ever have a bad day when you know that smiling face will be waiting for when you get home?
i love dogs.
ghost clearly doesn't know the little brown dog...
The healing power of dogs should never be misunderestimated. Hope all is well.
ahem - we need to make plans.
I'm sorry I'm behind in my comments, but I have been keeping up with the reading.
It's never, ever as easy as we remember it, Alison. It's just that the temporal distance makes it seem so much less hard than our current situation.
And, yes, I'd say it was a blessing, just as your regular presence in her life is, though you may not always see it that way.
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