When and when not

Honestly, I do not care who the Texans picked, Vince, Reggie or Mario. What I do care about is that all three of these guys are running around before six in the evening with diamonds the size of Buicks in their ears. Someone should tell them that's not right. I'm sure that, if she knew how to reach them, my mother would be more than happy to do so.

Due to a combination of private school for several years and being my mother's daughter for all my years, I have certain rules of etiquette ingrained in my head as permanently as if they were tattooed on the back of my eyelids. My personal prohibitions.

The white shoe rule, for instance. In my household and my school the rule went so far as to incorporate white socks. One did not wear white shoes or socks after Labor Day and before Memorial Day. At school, that would get you one demerit. Enough demerits and you found yourself in detention. At home, my Mother, backed by her Emily Post bible, would frown severely at me, and order me to, Go back to your room and change your socks.

The color black? Not allowed to wear it until I was 16 years old.

When I would question Mom about all these rules (and who the heck was Emily, anyway?), she would tell me that they helped to ensure a polite society.

Do white socks or black dresses really translate to rudeness?

Not all the rules she placed on me were color related. There are plenty of etiquette rules that involved the time of day, as in what to wear before or after a certain hour. Such as when and when not to wear your diamonds. According to the powerhouse of my mother and Ms. Post, unless they are in an engagement ring, diamonds should never be worn before six o'clock in the evening. I think though that the rule only considered women. I cannot imagine that that either woman ever figured into the fold that men would wear diamond earrings.

Still, I'm a product of my mother, so I can't help but look at Mario's picture on the front page of today's paper, cringe a bit, and imagine my mother frowning severely, wanting to hurl her Book of Etiquette at him.

C'est la vie, yeah? Well, if your mother's name is Betty.