A man named James is one of my Mom's Hospice Nurses. He is from Ireland and I find his accent comforting, but mostly I'm comforted by how tremendously kind and gentle he is with Mom, and also me. Although Mom is unresponsive, James told me last night that she can hear me and smell me and feel me when I touch her. He explained that those senses are heightened when the body starts to let go. It's difficult for me to hear my mother explained in terms of the body, or the senses. James seemed to pick up on this and gently tells me that my mother is tired and she wants to let go, but that letting go happens in natural stages within her body. He assures me that even though I cannot see it, she knows I am with her, that she hears me when I tell her that I love her and she feels me when I rub her legs or put my fingers through her hair. I want to believe him and have to believe him because I cannot tell otherwise. Then he proves it by saying her blood pressure stabilizes when I speak to her.
Last night, James and I moved the love seat in her room flush against her bed and we lowered her bed so that effectively I could sleep beside her.
For most of the night, we slept holding hands.
6 comments:
What James tells you is true. Not long ago I experienced these angels they call Hospice. James will help you help your mom make a loving transition. Love her, love her, love her, inhale her presence. While you are wading through the "emotions" all of this brings, share your burdens with those who care. You are in my prayers. Oh, to be able to sleep with your mom, how beautiful is that?
I can feel in your words the tremendous outpouring of love that surrounds your mother. You will always remember these precious moments. Reading and re-reading about you and your mom lying hand-in-hand, I remembered reading this quote just the other day: "We shall find peace. We shall hear angels, we shall see the sky sparkling with diamonds." You're in my prayers.
Alison, My heart aches for you and all you are going through. I've heard many times that the hearing is the last to go and I know my grandmother's bp stabilized when we read or spoke to her. Just keep doing what you are doing and know that she knows you love her.
All -- Thank you for your kind words and support. I am consoled by your presence.
Oh, what a gift you are getting!! (and giving) James is one of the angels....
Take comfort, my friend.
Alison, Thinking of you and your mom tonight. Hang in there.
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