I don't miss my Father any more or any less than I did when I lost him. I don't appreciate him any more or less than I did when he was here. For all of our time together, I knew who he was and I knew who I loved. I understand more now, to be sure. I understand that I can be here without him, that I can carry on, without him. I hate that I understand how to carry on without him, but I do. I understand that part of carrying on is also standing firm between running from, and running towards. What I also understand, and what is with me every day, is how very much I miss him, hear him, rely on him, count on him, look for him, ask him out loud, How do I do this, Dad?
I still look for him. I still listen for him.
I no longer see him, but he answers me. And I hear him.
Time can bring you down
Time can bend your knee
Time can break your heart
Have you begging please
Begging please
Eric Clapton, Tears in Heaven
3 comments:
Alison, My own dad has been own my mind so much lately - his birthday is soon. I still miss him so even though he died over 30years ago.
My best friend, my dad, left suddenly 3 years ago Feb.20. Lately, I find my self missing him so. I wonder when he is coming home. I know he is "home". I believe that, (the missing), never goes away, he is with me every minute of every day. I feel him around me.
Alison, your words spoke to my heart. I felt your words. Tears came to my eyes. I am sorry for all of us that have lost dad, somehow, we carry on.
i think it a fitting testimony to what he taught you that you are standing strong.
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