Thursday, June 09, 2005

If anyone's looking for me, I'll be on the corner with my cardboard sign up and hand out

Balance. It's not something that I'm wholly acquainted with on the outside. But on the inside, I try to have balance. I believe it requires restraint, steadiness and consistency. It means living the truth. What I do, what I see, and what I talk about not only indicate but dictate what I get from life. If I shortchange, I'll get shortchanged. If I scheme, I've no doubt that time will equalize that as well. Living the truth means staying away from smoke screens, keeping my eyes open, and trying to keep all the factors in balance. We get what we give - good or bad. I understand that. And I believe it, so I try. Everyday I live awareness of it and I try.

So, I'd like to ask the dark cloud that is seemingly intent on shadowing me to get off my ass because I think you've got the wrong girl. But just in case you don't, let me tell you that I think I'm doing very well in this storm you've dropped on me. You're not going to knock me down. I know what I'm made of. And these things that you're putting in my life, I'm dealing with the emotional ones, got it? I'M DEALING WITH IT ALL. And you know what? I'm getting stronger every day. But the others, the ones that require me to pay out the same ass that you keep trying to kick to the ground, the ones that are hitting me so hard and fast that pawnshop has actually slipped through my mind and into my vocabulary several times, well those have to stop. I'm asking nicely. Seriously, because my last name, it is not Rockefeller.

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